late night, like downing a pint of vodka the scraps of emotions i still possess

I will keep on reading your words until the end of eternity and then some.
It might be the only thing of you I will ever get again.
It might be that we will never and I do not want to finish thinking this sentence
but it creeps up the edges of my mind nonetheless
and I am scared.
I will not run from your words, though
I find solace in them both in pixels and in my mind
and still in my mirror
left there graciously by people who said,
I think you should decide.
Because it is clear to them that it is not easy for me.
This kind of things are never easy for anyone
and I hurt easily, I care easily, and they know.
I will keep on reading your words as long as it takes for me to find you again
or then until your essence starts fading like this gaping strangeness in my chest
where there used to be, should be, must be
something
I know. It has happened before
and now I know it can happen
and I am scared.